- random shot of my nenek put nailpolish !hey wonderful humans:)
so today is the seconndd day of my 00.01 workshop.
(it's an english base writting course)
it is alright, i cannot say it teaches me much though.
however, by saying this it serves no justice to 00.01 workshop so i'm gonna explain.
firstly, my mentor (ryan i think) is an experienced writer and reads many fascinating books. problem is, none of the boook he reads is the one i ever read before
he talks about like all the sci-fi and epic fantasy novels while i'm basically a sucker for romance.
HAHAHAHA.
"romance"
anyways, so whatever he's talking about is just merely a big question mark in my head.
everything he says is automatically transferred to legend of the seeker mode.
(fyi, legend of the seeker is the only sci-fi world that i understand).
star wars and the lord of the rings just doesn't get into my head.
so obviously, while those elite students have 10001 questions for him.
i'm just lurking in the background cause my lips are literally zippped.
AND THAT'S THE FIRST ~
yeap, but i did make a couple of friends and i learned some skills.
so i can't say it has been completely un-useful.
people there are nice except for the chinese version of zee-zee.
hahaha.
you get my shizzz?
well, tomorrow's the thirdd day and i have a lunch subway date with trishhaaaaa.
can't wait, can't wait.
btw, mummy bought my favourite chocolate cake. rawrrrrrrrrr!
gonna starve myself to it, it's just freakingggnice.
Child: "are you fat?"
Woman: "no, i'm just pregnant"
Child: :O
RAWR ~
me and insyirah, artfriend picturesnapping.
it's freaking unfair that well, i have to go through this.
i mean, after all the things i've been through.
i pretty much suspect this is the worst.
yesterday,i found myself crying, again.
you know what,
i'm sick of the tears man.
i'm sick of putting on a brave front.
i'm sick of worrying so much.
i'm sick of all the hardships i have to face,alone.
i'm sick of wasting my time just thinking about it.
i'm sick of pretending that my life is soo upsy daisy when it's freaking not.
i'm sick of putting my problems aside cause in the end, they rise back up and shoot my brains out.
i'm sick of telling people that i'm really fine when i'm freaking not.
i'm sick of having to cry daily in the night, quietly in the corner so nobody can hear.
i'm sick of keeping it to myself because everyone is self-obsessed with themselves.
i'm sick of smiling when deep inside, i'm deeply hurt.
i'm sick of this total bullshit.
it isn't unfair that this happens to me.
it isn't bloooody fair that i have to put the world's burdens on my shoulder.
i just want a break from it all.
to be honest, i'm just afraid.
just reallyreally scared that it might happen, soon.
i'm scared.
and this time, there's nobody there to hold my hand with me.
one word: tired.
i'm kinda feeling snoooozy.tomorrow, english course.
should be excited, i hope it'll be awesomely fun so i wouldn't have to force myself to go for it.
especially since i have to travel all the way to bugis, then take shuttle bus to bukit merah then back home.
rawr.
tiring man ~
been always waking up early like either 7 or 8.
c'mon, valerie needs a break.
i seriously, desperately need it.
well, now i'm heading to bed (:
atleast all my hopes and worries are able to rest.
i hope god is on my side.
well, let's zooom back to a yesterday shall we?
yesterday, me and insyirah went a singapore-explored tour to find wool.
we are not kidding, we needed to buy wool.
i bet half of you are already laughing your ass off.
truth is, we thought it wasn't hard to find wool in this silly little place called east side.
but we were wrong, oh boy we sooooooooo were.
after a whole rounding of places after places,
we ended up buying peach tea, mineral water, popiah, nasi lemak, chocolate waffles (:
(a long story behind each and every item mentioned)
anyways, we got sooo high (as expected)
it started to rain.
oh thank the heavens because we really needed that waking up call.
so silly yet hyper us decided to play in the rain like kids with practically no brains :D
so played in the rain, up and down the slides.
even garbageman thought we were crazy.
oh damn,it felt good.
walked in the rain like as if we didn't had a care for the world.
and heck, no we did not
walked home, laughing, singing, dancing, puddling, wiping, laughing and then kicking.
(long story behind this one toooo)
and we reached home like we just came out of the shower.
sure as hell got a little nagging here and there..
but i came out alive, thank the spirits.
(i loike radddd's face here !)
oh now, here's a little intro to maths class.
when others were happily studying, we on the other hand
gave our orders to izyan (the waitress) to get our things from west.p
and had a little maths celebration inside the class while mrs.d was teaching.
exciting maths classes huh?
there was also a serious case of water-gun shoooting.
i was shot like 3-4 times. RAWRRR ~
back at home, me and sharol played with fake guns.
later kelvin joined. (hah ! who would have thought this old buffalo like playing toys!)
we were spying on each other.
and shooot each other with guns that actually had no bullet. just like sound effects?
bring back the childhooooooood people :D
ohhh, just like the scene in counterstrike.
MUAHAHAHA, good times.
i want the pain to end right here, right now.
if only everyone could be a little understanding.
if only, all my sufferings would come to an end.
if only, these tears could stop once i turn them off.
if only, people would stop and think how hurtful their words can be.
if only, i would acknowledge all the flaws i have.
if only, i could learn the art of patience.
if only, someone could wizzed me away form my deeper,darker side
if only, my fantasy could turn to reality.
if only, i'd be a little grateful for everything and stop wasting my time with those barstard
yet, this only lasts with the "ifs only".
i'm tired for it to be ifs, when is it ever going to be "finally"
and here i am, left alone to go through this problems yet again.
when i ever thought it was over, i stand corrected.
ama has been a great listener to the things that i said.
she's beeen totally understanding about the whole situation.
i'm glad i have a friend like her :)
thanks ama.